Subscribe To This Site
when a woman needs to run...
He appeared to be a fun, loving, affectionate guy, but soon, he soon had to leave town, and promised that the relationship would be intact. As soon as he put foot into another city everything changed. He hardly called, and when he did he would ask for weird favors and money- which I never gave him. I eventually told him a piece of my mind and put an end to whatever we had going on. He came back in town months later. He had nowhere to stay, so I put him up, making sure our interactions were just cordial. Within a day, he began to tell me how much he missed me, and apologized for his previous behavior. He said it was hard to carry on the relationship at a distance, that he was back and wanted no-one else but me. This he said was "coming from the bottom of his heart"- that line got me. I was resistant at first, but within two weeks I gave him a second chance. Everything seemed to had gone back to normal, until one day, i was badly bruised from our sexual intercourse, which was unprotected. I thought it would eventually go, and i ignored it. Two days later, the burning sensation had worsened, and I began to experience an abnormal amount of discharge. I panicked! "It could be a chlorox bleach allergy," I thought. Two days before i washed my white underwear with it. It couldn't be an STD! The burning was soon associated with a slight itch! I rushed to a nearby clinic. I thought I'd heard wrongly when the PA said "i think its herpes." "You're stupid!" I thought. It couldn't be. I was respectful of her opinions, but left the clinic in complete denial. I was confident it wasn't. In all this my partner appeared to be calm and supportive. "Take the drugs, and get tested," he urged. By night fall new symptoms began to surface. I was parching with fever, had chills, and frighteningly, when I urinated I felt near-death pain. He had to leave town again (he hasn't returned to date), but when i looked at genitals in the mirror a few days later I almost passed out from what I saw. It looked like cornfields of blisters. I would sit in the shower and cry, I would refrain from drinking fluids to limit my peeing. These symptoms cleared up within a week, but I did miss a good three days of class, being unable to walk or sit up. I asked him out of concern if he had ever been tested for HSV. He did not even know what I was talking about. He became defensive. "They said they tested for everything," he said. It was evident, even in his aggression, that he was uncertain. He said he would never talk to me again. He wouldn't pick up my calls or call. Bastard. Looking back, I believe he knew he had it. He deceived me that he would be back permanently, and this was his ticket to wiggling his way out. He had no intentions of being back! The twist to the story is that I have tested negative twice. I never had another symptoms, but I must admit, I've dated in and out of denial for the past seven months. Now, I have relatively mild symptom, and I am of the belief that I have it. Apart of me wants the positive result, so as to end my confusion, while the other part of me wants to continue in denial. I regret giving him a second chance, but I regret even more initiating a relationship with him. Our society seems to look down on women who have 'been around', but condones this sort of behavior for men. Many women attest to preferring experienced men, but I assured you there are over-experienced ones, who shouldn't be given the privilege to lick your toes. My advice to women is to know your partner's sexual history. Be careful of what we call freaks, or those with an excessive number of partners. You should run from most of them! The title of freak often comes with a price. |
