TRUST NO ONE!!!

by Aracelys
(READING PA)

im a 22 years old i didnt think this could happen to me due to the fact that i always use condoms. but a man came into my life i loved him very much n i trusted him too much. he had herpes but didn't tell me. i found out the hard way. i was in so much pain i could not use the bathroom cause it hurt so much. i thought it was a rash i was with the rash for two weeks. i couldn't take it any more so i went to the hospital. the doctor took a look and told me it looks like u have herpes i said WHAT! he said i think its herpes so he ran some test on me. i called the lab in two days n they told me it was herpes i wanted to die. i cried and cried. i felt like my life was coming to an end. i couldn't eat or sleep. i was put on some pills that made me real sick. i was throwing up. my mom and my sisters held me and stayed with me for days. i couldn't believe this was happening to me. i still don't know how to deal with it. its been 5 months since i found out and ive had 4 out brakes, life is very had for me. i feel depressed and sad a lot i don't have sex cause im ashamed of my self. im still 22 years old. and i hate the person i became i trust no one i hate more then ever. Im cold hearted. and i cant let anyone in. i have a little girl to this guy. and when i told him he said it wasn't him. but he was the only one i was having sex with for the pass 4 years. we broke up 3 weeks later. i don't talk to him or anything cause i loved him n trusted him that he wouldn't hurt me in anyway and he did hurt me in the worse way anyone could hurt me. JUST THE OTHER DAY I WENT TO THE DOCTORS cause i was having an out brake i was put on some pills for 6months. i cried my self to sleep that night. The guy calls my mother to see our daughter i don't know how to forgive him for what he did. I pray a lot i ask god to help me get through what im going through in my life. i pray for the hurt to go away. i wont lie i miss this guy so much but what he did to me will take time to heal.