Tell them? Or die with your secret?

I had what you would call the classic herpes symptoms 7-8mths ago, but have tested negative on two occasions. I didn't feel that this was a conversation I needed to have with my new partner, since the disease was not clinically confirmed. To be honest, I had even come to deny that I had it, believing the previous symptoms to be as a result of something else. I'd been asymptomatic, and thought the coast was clear. When we moved to third bade, I persuaded him to use condoms. He hates it, so I eventually lost that battle. He has been symptomless. Recently, five water-filled bumps appeared on the sides of my genitals. They are drying up now. My health provider has referred me to a dermatologist, saying that I tested negative twice and that they came up after I shaved. I strongly believe my symptoms are herpes-related. I don't know how to tell him. He seems like one who would be aggressive, or even tarnish my reputation. It is not so much the rejection that I fear. I want to be able to walk freely without judgmental stares.