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Scared to tell someone I am really interested in...

by DL
(New Jersey)

I was diagnosed with herpes 3 years ago when I was 19 years old (3 days before my 20th birthday). I contracted it through oral sex from my ex which is my daughters father. We recently broke up and I reconnected with someone I was previously intimate with (before I had the herpes). I told him I didn't want to have sex until I was in love and he completely understands. I know he is a good man and wouldn't tell everyone my business but I am so scared to tell him. I still want to wait but when I am ready to get intimate I am not going to know how to tell him. I don't know how he will react, if he will be mad at me or maybe reject me. I have always had strong feelings for him but he wasn't my type at that time because I always liked the bad boys (which he is not at all) and look where it got me. I wish I would have just stayed with him but it's too late now. Does anyone have any advice on how I could break the news to him without him getting mad?




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Scared to tell someone I am really interested in...

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Aug 12, 2011
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starstarstarstarstar 		Its Never Easy
by: Anonymous

The sooner you tell him the better. Even if you guys are not sexually active yet the longer you wait the harder it will be. This person trusts you and wants to be with you, having herpes won't change that. I have had herpes for 2 years and after being rejected by numerous guys I attempted to just not tell someone and sleep with them. Then I ended up falling for this person and told them after the fact. They stayed with me for a while but it ruined the relationship because I should of been open about it from the beginning. Now I try to tell the guy really quickly. Especially before I like him to much because the rejection hurts less. However, seeing as how you and this guy have been dating for awhile and hes waiting for you to be ready to sleep with him, he will most likely be understanding. He will ask questions, be worried, and scared. Don't let that set you back and think he does not care for you anymore. For him in that moment its going to feel just as worse as you did when you first found out you had it. He will get over it. take him to the doctors with you so they can assure him that as long as safe sex is practiced and you guys don't have sex while you are having an outbreak, that the chances of him contracting it are slim to non!

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