no words

by summer

My boyfriend and I had been dating for a wonderful two years. We talked about everything and worked through everything we ever went through together. He is my love and my best friend. We had our daughter about a year ago but when she was about seven months I had a nervous break down that caused me to break out with shingles on my back. It was then that my world changed even more. I was prescribed acyclovir for my shingles which was the same name of medication my boyfriend had been taking for a "shoulder" injury or whatever. It was then I realized he had herpes. Mixed feelings of anger, sadness, and confusion overwhelmed my already stressed out state. I couldn't bear to question him so I didn't. A month or so after I finally tried to talk about it but after a few words and not knowing what to say he just shut down. I'm angry for not being told especially since we have a daughter together and are very sexually active. It could have affected our child if I had gotten herpes without knowing. I'm saddened because we don't talk about things like we used to. I understand its not the easiest thing to talk about but as my partner I wish we could... currently I am considered herpes free because of a negative blood test taken three days after I had an assumed breakout two months ago. Hoping another test can be taken soon. I still love my boyfriend just as unconditionally as I ever have. We hope to get married and have more children. Although I do feel like there's a massive hill in the middle of my path at the moment preventing me to move forward... just be honest its not that bad but its not something to just shrug off. Honesty is key.