It Should All Be Ok

by M
(Sacramento)

My name's Malory and I'm twenty years old. I was dating my boyfriend for about seven months. When we first started dating, he let me know about his virus. (He told me at the time that he didnt know what it was, that every time he had been in get tested, it always came out negative.) We were both very careful with it- NEVER having sex during an outbreak UNLESS we had a condom.
Just last Tuesday (the 23rd of February), I felt burning and soreness, like I had suffered through too much rough sex. No big deal. I had also just started taking antibiotics for a bladder infection. Around Thursday night, the opening of my vagina HURT bad. It hurt to pee and especially hurt to touch. I figured I was torn. Friday morning I decided to get out the mirror and look around and there I found three small bumps on the inside of my right lip. I was completely bummed out, as I already knew what it was. Friday night, there were sores EVERYWHERE (at least twenty) and I was in excruciating pain. I wasn't able to lay down, to walk, to pee, to sit, etc. It felt like I was literally getting sliced with hot razors. The only semi relief I found was laying in a warm bath, which I did for HOURS. This reduced the pain to an "a bunch of ants crawling on you" feeling, which was bearable. I slept maybe an hour a day if I was lucky, which was really upsetting my boyfriend. He complained when I would cry or moan and twitch (when lying still, sometimes the pain would hit me like a bolt of electricity). He accused me of being over dramatic and sensitive. This caused stress between us.
This was definitely the worst experience of my life. I would basically live in the bathtub. If I had to pee, I would waddle into the bathroom, fill it up halfway with warm water, pee in it (tried not to scream), and then drained it. When I was done with a bath, I would blowdry it with a hairdryer on "cool". Then I would cover it in baby powder. Some nights, I would try icing it, but barely touching it was out of the question. I was in HELL.

Around Sunday, I started feeling the flu-like symptoms. I became really dizzy and passed out in the living room couch where I stayed asleep from 11am to 945pm. I had lost a lot of my hearing and balance. It was like my body had shut down. I was like this all day Monday, too. Tuesday morning, I started to pee blood and couldn't stand up- I kept falling over. I rushed myself to the E.R. where I was given hydrocod for the pain, acyclovir for the herpes, and lorazepam for "agitation". So far, they've helped A LOT. I'm constantly sleeping and I'm finally comfortable enough to pee and sleep and sit.
Unfortunately, my boyfriend and I had gotten into a horrible fight Monday night and I had broken up with him. But luckily, my mother is supportive of me and she picked me up from the hospital and took me to her house. She bought me a bunch of comfortable pajamas and even some adult diapers. :) haha
My opinion of herpes has changed a lot. I don't see it so much as a life-changing disease. I still feel like me. I just wish my boyfriend had been more understanding and supportive. :/ But things could be a lot worse.