went to the doc for what I thought was a yeast infection to my suprise my test came back positive for HSV1 and 2. I've been with the same man for over 15 years and he has cheated on me time and time again with so many women it's unreal. Call me stupid but I stayed with him because I really do love him. The last time I found out he cheated I was told by the woman that she was in love with him. How could she develop feeling such strong for him unless there was some type of relationship going on right? Anyway, I went to the doc because I thought he gave me something bc I was itching and burning really bad.When the test came back positive I was furious because I knew he had given it to me. He went to the doctor and his test came back negative. I was crushed and just couldnt believe his test were negative (yes I seen the negative results from the doc). At that time he told me he didn't care what I had and we were staying together bc he loved me that much. He said this bec of his guilty ways. After all the women he had cheated with over the years his test were negative. I was so angry with him over the years for all the cheating he did that I decided to get even and cheat as well. I know this wasn't right but I did and I'm assuming this is where I got it from. I can't be sure because I've had other parnters before my husband and I got married but this was years ago. There is no way I could have had it all those years and not passed it on to him right with out taking any medication (bc at that time I had no idea I had it- if I did have back then)I told him that his test couldnt be right. Even though he cheated on me I could never tell him I cheated on him and contacted herpes bc of it.I feel like such a horrible person because after finding out his test were negative I told him I had herpes to prevent him from cheating on me again and he believed me. A few years ago he cheated with another woman and I'm crushed. I have tried to end our marriage but he doesn't want too. Just so I can get out of this horrible situation. We still have unprotected sex and he still hasn't shown any signs or symtons of having it at all (even before I started taking Valtex) he showed no signs. We still have unprotedted sex and he goes to the doctor regulary for his job so he has to take STD test pretty often and they always come up negative. I'm so upset with myself because although I want to tell him; I just feel I dont know how bc I've giving him hell about his cheating way for years. This is something I could never tell him bc he has really changed (for the better). Could he have had herpes and it didn't show up in his test? Am I a bad person for not telling him. I can't justify this but I was so hurt after all the cheating and hurt he's cause me over the years. I feel if I tell him now he's going to go back to his old ways. Someone please give me some good advice. It's really hard hiding this from him and I really want to tell him but just really afraid of the outcome.
Jul 26, 2010 Rating
Tell him by: Anonymous
You should tell him. I wish the person who gave me this had told me rather than saying she was squeaky clean and then admitting she did suffer from cold sores in the past. Giving someone herpes should not be something you do out of revenge for their life style. Get a divorce if you dislike him that much, clearly other than cheating on you he has not given you anything like Herpes.
Aug 04, 2010 Rating
Hm, tough one by: Angry, USA
My first instinct as a woman is to say don't tell him, just get a divorce. Men can NOT handle learning of their woman's infidelity the way that we women can handle it. You don't know how he will react & the worse case scenario is violence. He has cheated so many times, it shows he has not love for your relationship or you. Plus, with you having it & him cheating AGAIN, he is putting countless other women at risk! This is how this disease spreads & runs rampant! Please help stop the cycle by either protecting yourself when u have sex with him, or get a divorce & be celebate until you are in a committed relationship with a man who knows your condition and has been tested (for everything) as well. This is the best way, I feel.
To the other commenter, I also feel like it's morally right for her to tell, yet as I said above, that may not go over very well. Best advice I can give (as someone w/HSV2 also) is end the relationship since he can't seem to keep himself only for you & not other women. For all you know, he could have another family somewhere.... or several.
