I think i may have genital herpes :'-(

by anonymous
(London England)

I had unprotected sex over the weekend just gone and i noticed after that i had a small red lump. It got worse. It then started to look like an ulcer and their are 3 other tiny bumps next to it.

I went to the doctors and explained what had happend. She told me, i could have caught it from a previous sexual partner, but i got tested for all stds, this January just gone after i broke up with my long term partner of 7 years.

I'm so upset and distraught, inside. I feel like I've let one tiny mistake ruin the rest of my life and what's worse, i feel to ashamed to be able to turn to anyone.

My doctor said it could be a spot or an abcess. I had one before in the same place but i carn't remember it looking like an ulcer. My doctor did take a swob and i asked her what she thought it was in her honest oppion and she said herpes with the amount of pain you are in.

I wasted myself on a complete and utter loser, when i had the chance to find real happiness with someone nice but i can't see who would want me now.

I'm so worried how this will affect my life in the long run. Words can not describe how i am feeling inside. I feel so invaded. I got taken advantage of badly when i was 16. It was basicly statistic rape in so many words. The only thing that stopped me saying no was for my own safety and peice of mind, because i knew that if i would have acted badly it would have affected me mentally in long run. This feels so much worse because when i got taken advantage of, i knew i could leve it behind. This i know i that i going to have to carry around with me for the rest of my life.